Why am I a mum that nobody seems to like?! Maybe it is not as extreme as do not like but maybe I am just forgettable? Or is that worse?!
I go to baby groups on a regular basis but I don’t seem to make mummy friends. I have no idea why, something about me must put other mums off but I don’t know what. Mums will talk to me if I start the conversation but it seems out of politeness and they move away to their friends shortly after.
The group’s all have their clicks, the mums that already know each other, those that live down the road, those that bumped into each other when pregnant, and those that arrive and everyone wants to get to know. I am none of the above, I think I just blend into the wallpaper.
All the things that go through my head are:
Am I not charismatic enough? Am I boring? Am I not approachable? God lets hope not!
Am I pushy? This is possible, the other half said I like to be in contol (he’s polite way of saying I’m bossy!)
Am I too fat? Possibly but I am working on this, if a little slowly at the minute.
Do I not wear the right clothes? A real possibility, I’m definitely more of a slung on style since becoming mummy.
Do I smell? (I have checked and I really don’t think I do)
Am I not in the same league? I do not really beleive in leagues, we are all equal, but I know others do.
Am I too me, me, me and not enough them, them, them? I think not, as I am quite an attentive listener and I seem to remember things about conversations that others do not remember.
I think I’m not posh enough for the posh mums, not young enough for the young mums, not cool enough for the cool mums, not earthy enough for the natural mums, not child centered enough for the stay at home mums and not career minded enough for those returning to work. I am a bit of a middle ground girl and I guess that doesn’t fit into any of those circles.
I have never had problems making friends before, I have friends from school, friends from work, friends from uni, friends from friends and even moving 300 miles from home I still meet up with everyone when I go back home.
Maybe the fact I’m not from around here puts mums off – maybe my accent is not appealing to them. But I made friends up here pre-mummyhood!
It is so isolating, I just wish I didn’t feel so alone in the mummy world. I feel like I would be the kid sitting on the friends bench in the school playground waiting for someone to take pitty on me.
My fate is compounded by my other half not being a very sociable person, he is not one for going out and he is not one for having people round either. He is quite happy just having work and home. He not even that keen on visiting family, it is normally an arm twist to get him to go anywhere.
I on the other hand am a sociable person, I like going out and meeting up with people. I like doing lunches, going for coffee, going for dinner, meeting for drinks, going on holidays and just general conversations with friends and family. I know half of this stops or slows down when you have children, but not to grind to a halt fully!
I will keep going to groups and keep trying, you never know a new mummy in the same position may arrive who is an outsider like me.
So here is to all the no likey mummies – you are not alone!