I moved north from my family around 4 years ago, before Little Bebe was a twinkle in my eye. Mr Bebe had a job and a home up north when we got together, we used to travel back and forth at first but when we become more serious we had to make a decision about where we would live – he had a better job and I could find work fairly easily so that was the decision made. I upped sticks and moved north – it really did not seem like a big deal, I could do the journey home in around 4 hours if I timed it right with clear roads.
But things change and 260 miles never seemed so far. Having Little Bebe has made a huge impact on how far I feel from home. It can now feel like an eternity away.
My parents come up and visit when they can but they have priorities at home, and we travel down as often as possible but it has to fit around work and other committments. My sisters visit less often but I see them when I’m back home, both have children and work committment too.
The journey home now is so much longer and travelling with a baby alters everything. It takes ten times longer to pack and we take ten times more stuff with us. The journey now takes at least six hours, with feeding stops and breaks from the car seat. Traffic jams are a nightmare, Little Bebe wakes as soon as we stop for more then a few seconds so I leave the backseat of the car clear so I can jump in if need be to settle her. I am also a lot more cautious of my speed now we travel as our little family unit.
We feed as we go, both breastfeeding and solid foods. We tend to stop at services that we know have facilities for Little Bebe, a microwave for solid food, high-chairs and decent baby changing facilities. We have learnt to stop early rather then to push on to the next services – if we get stuck or slow down due to traffic it can be awful if Little Bebe needs a feed. I have breastfed in all the services and in the car when needed, obviously not when it is moving.
I miss birthdays, I miss Sunday get-togethers, I miss seeing my nephew’s, I miss popping in for a cup of tea, and I miss the spontaneity of random visits. I’m jealous of their time spent without us, I feel like we are missing out on so much and that they are missing Little Bebe grow.
I want to move back home, I am not sure Mr Bebe is as keen but he seems willing to make the sacrifice for us. We do not have so close a connection with his family so hopefully the distance would not be such a wrench. Unfortunately work is our biggest obstacle – Mr Bebe’s role is quite specalised and jobs are few and far between – so it’s a waiting game and we just have to keep our fingers crossed that something will come up soon.
Until fortune turns our way I will keep wishing I was there.